Humor

Dolazi Bosanac u kafanu u Dalmaciji i govori konobaru:''konobar ja bih pivo''. A konobar ce na to:''a pivaj brate ko ti brani''  :)))))

Kad ste zapeli za te kahve, kafe, kave

Došao neki tip iz Hrvatske u Sarajevo i sjeo u caffe bar. Dođe ubrzo konobar: -

Šta ćeš? - Kavu, molim. - Nema. - Pa dobro, onda kafu, molim. - Nema. - A jednu kahvu, možda? - Čovječe božji, nema vode!

Šeće ateist šumom. I divi se:

    Kakva divna stabla!
    Kakve snažne rijeke!
    Kakve prekrasne životinje!

Dok tako šeće uz rijeku, začuje šuškanje u grmlju iza sebe. Okrene se i ugleda grizlija od 3 metra kako ga napada. Potrči najbrže što može puteljkom. Pogleda preko ramena, medvjed mu se sve više približava. Ponovno pogleda preko ramena, a medvjed još bliže. Spotakne se i padne. Počne se pridizati i ugleda medvjeda kako se nadvio nad njega i podiže desnu šapu da ga svlada. U tom trenu ateist procvili:

   „O, moj Bože!"

Vrijeme se zaustavi. Medvjed zastane na mjestu. šuma umukne. Obasja ga snažna svjetlost, a s nebesa se začuje glas:

    Negiraš moje postojanje svih ovih godina, učiš druge da ne postojim, a stvaranje života pripisuješ kozmičkoj slučajnosti. Očekuješ li da ti pomognem iz ove nevolje? Trebam li te smatrati vjernikom?

Ateist pogleda ravno u svjetlost i kaže:

    Bilo bi licemjerno odjednom od Tebe tražiti da me tretiraš kao kršćanina, no možda bi mogao medvjeda učiniti vjernikom?
    Dobro, reče glas.

Svjetlo se ugasi. Šumom ožive glasovi. A medvjed spusti svoju desnu šapu, sklopi obje zajedno, pogne glavu i kaže:

    Gospodine, blagoslovi ove darove koje ću primiti od tvog obilja po Kristu, našemu Gospodinu. Amen.

"da nisi dombaOS "

nego zasto on ima zabranu prijave?

Nego zasto je tema zakljucana? Sad se ne mogu prijaviti :(

vjerovatno zbog onog novog pravila... nagradne igre i to - zabranjeno

ili je autor zakljucao a da nije obavjestio tko je pobjednik

Dolazi covjek u Sarajevo u kafanu i pita Imate li pive, ovaj  odgovara Nemam, imam himber.

Nazalost, desava se precesto (pomalo karikirano),

nije humor ali je odlican video 

Evo jedna vruča vjest s BOLF:

Zove Marijana muža u Šibenik i pitaga mogu li ti se vratit? Kaže muž - Nemeš ,.. ;)

Kompilacija failova... Fakat ima odlicnih isjecaka :D

Batista kaže...

Kompilacija failova... Fakat ima odlicnih isjecaka :D

 

6.08 wtf?

R.I.P (servantes) Ivica Vidović 

ivica i špiro:

Jack is one horny guy and is not sure what to do about it. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a five dollar bill. He walks down the steet to the local brothal and knocks on the door. The madam opens the door and asks Jack what she can do for him. "I'm really horny but I only have $5. What can you do for me?", Jack asks the madam. She looks over this fellow and tells him, "Don't worry we can take care of you. No problem". She leads Jack into this room where in the opposite corner is a chicken. Jack thinks about this a second and figures it can't be that bad. He gives the madam the $5 and she closes the door behind her. Jack undresses and has the time of his live. When he's done he can't remember when he has had such a pleasurable experience.

One week later, and horny again, Jack has saved up $10. Being a satisfied customer he goes back to the same madam and asks what she can do for him for $10. "Well for $10 we have special show", the madam replies. She leads him into a different room where there are several other people sitting on benches. "Sit back and enjoy the show Jack", the madam tells him. Jack gives the money to the madam and takes a seat on one of benches. Soon after, the lights dim and the blinds open revealing another room on the other side of a two way mirror where two women begin to undress each other. Jack is very impressed. Clearly these women are unaware anyone is watching as they begin to make love to each other passionately. Apparently there is nothing they won't do to each other. Jack once again feels like he is getting his money's worth. He turns to the person beside him and says, "This is a pretty good show for ten bucks eh?!". The guy turns to Jack and says, "That's nothing... last week we saw a guy fuck a chicken".

Hahaha